Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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