last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Pooping to opera.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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