So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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