Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
