Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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