We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
