The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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