you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
