3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
