Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
