Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
