Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
