I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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