we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
