Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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