Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.