1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize