I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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