he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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