oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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