in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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