Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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