i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
ttyl tear gas
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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