whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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