i barfeds in our rink
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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