Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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