Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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