I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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