blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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