We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
