Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize