Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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