her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
