Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
