Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
only if we run a train.
done.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
