I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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