38 yer olds are good kisserssss
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
