so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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