Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sext me about skeletons
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