yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
