I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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