Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
