Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
