Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
