Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
