its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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