At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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