u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
