Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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