Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize