too bad you live with your parents still
there's paper in my vomit.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
