Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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