our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
