go do what you do best...puke behind churches
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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