R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
me + whiskey = a bad person
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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