A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
