is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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