I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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