Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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