its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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