i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
